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Lasillinen witsiä (Read 59848 times)
Artturi
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Lasillinen witsiä
28. Feb 2008 at 15:37
 
Ettei menisi kirjoittelu liian totiseksi, niin kaivoin pari lyhyttä vitsiä ja yhden kovin tutunoloisen sananparren netistä. Suomalaisia vitsejä en ole liiemmin vielä kuullut.....

What is the difference between a battery and a whisky ?
A battery has a negative side.
*
How did you return from the whisky tasting at the pub yesterday ?
As lightning !
That fast ?
Nope - more or less like the shape - in ziq-zag !
*
Between friends. (What would you rather be without ?)
- What would you rather be without if you should chose ? Whisky or a woman?
- It all depends on years / vintage !
*
A Scotsman had been presented with a bottle of fine old Scotch whisky which he placed in his overcoat pocket. On his way home he fell, and as he got up he felt a wet patch on his trousers. "Please, Lord," he prayed,"let that just be blood!"
*
What butter and Whiskey cannot cure, there is no cure for.

An té nach leigheasann im nó uisce beatha, ní aon leigheas ar.

Old Irish Proverb
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Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whisky is barely enough...
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Peat
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #1 - 28. Feb 2008 at 16:29
 
ja tässä tutun näköisen herran lasillinen Aqua Vita. . .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK3LduV4-tg
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"So join me then,and drink,so we may become more like him and his batrachian friends!"
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #2 - 28. Feb 2008 at 18:05
 
Artturi wrote on 28. Feb 2008 at 15:37:
What butter and Whiskey cannot cure, there is no cure for.


Tuli tässä kokatessa mieleen, että tämähän on vähän kuin suomalaismiehen ruoanlaitto. Kossu pakkaseen ja nyrkillinen voita kattilaan.
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smoke on the water
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #3 - 28. Feb 2008 at 18:54
 
Eat P wrote on 28. Feb 2008 at 16:29:
ja tässä tutun näköisen herran lasillinen Aqua Vita. . .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK3LduV4-tg


Ja virallinen tastingpaita..."water of life":



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"The Legend of the Seadragon" Legend has it that Loch Indaal turned red with blood when a great Scottish warrior slayed the dragon with his magical sword.
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #4 - 29. Feb 2008 at 11:51
 
A man walked into a bar, sat down, ordered 3 shots of whiskey, drank them, then left. This continued daily for several weeks.

Curious, the bartender asked him one day, "Why do you always order three shots of whiskey?"

The man answered, "Because my two brothers and I always used to have one shot each, and since they've both passed on, I've continued to order the three shots in their honor."

The bartender thought that this was a very noble thing to do, and welcomed the man every time he visited the bar.

Two weeks later, the man walked into the bar for his daily visit and ordered two shots of whiskey. Surprised, the bartender asked him why he only ordered two when had had always been ordering three.

The man answered, "Oh, I've decided to stop drinking."
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Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whisky is barely enough...
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Artturi
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #5 - 02. Mar 2008 at 10:30
 
Nämät huumeirenkäyttö alka olla mahroton riasa Turun seurul.
Suanensisäsesti käytetän paitti heroiini ja tommottist ni myäs
alkkohooli. Mää ainakin kuulin kun yks äijä sanos
Börssinpaaris, kun tilas viskin et "pane tämä mun piikkiini."

***

Psykiatri ja eräs viskifoorumilainen olivat baaritiskillä ja siemailivat viskiä. Kuinka ollakaan, keskustelu siirtyi viskin maun ja tuoksun eri nyansseihin. Psykiatrin kompetenssi ei oikein riittänyt ja hän jäi keskustelussa pian alakynteen.
Herrojen välille kehkeytyi oikein kunnon riita ja loppujen lopuksi he viskin innoittamina huusivat toisilleen lähes suoraa huutoa. Baarimestari joutui tulemaan väliin, jotta väittely ei ihan tappeluksi asti olisi kehittynyt.
Kun tilanne oli rauhoittunut ja keskustelijat taas naukkailivat viskejään, psykiatri totesi rauhallisesti, korjaillen vielä kravattinsa asentoa:
"Minä menetin malttini ja sinä menetit malttisi, mutta meistä kahdesta vain MINÄ kykenen analysoimaan, miksi niin tapahtui!"





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Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whisky is barely enough...
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #6 - 09. Mar 2008 at 13:13
 
Kauppiaan kannattaisi katsoa, mitä kirjoittaa kohdekuvauksiinsa:
http://cgi.ebay.de/Glenlivet-Whisky-21-Years-old_W0QQitemZ290211231440QQihZ019QQ...
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #7 - 25. Apr 2008 at 08:42
 
Perjantai aamun kevennykseksi ja NHL:n playoffeihinkin ajallisesti sopiva videopätkä, jonka sain Eat P:ltä eilen. Mielestäni todellinen helmi!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWeCKqM_P1M
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #8 - 25. Apr 2008 at 09:00
 
POP wrote on 25. Apr 2008 at 08:42:
Perjantai aamun kevennykseksi ja NHL:n playoffeihinkin ajallisesti sopiva videopätkä, jonka sain Eat P:ltä eilen. Mielestäni todellinen helmi!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWeCKqM_P1M


Hyvä, paitsi jos on Canucks fani !
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"So join me then,and drink,so we may become more like him and his batrachian friends!"
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #9 - 25. Apr 2008 at 12:32
 
Eat P wrote on 25. Apr 2008 at 09:00:
POP wrote on 25. Apr 2008 at 08:42:
Perjantai aamun kevennykseksi ja NHL:n playoffeihinkin ajallisesti sopiva videopätkä, jonka sain Eat P:ltä eilen. Mielestäni todellinen helmi!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWeCKqM_P1M


Hyvä, paitsi jos on Canucks fani !

Olen canucks-fani! Saas  nähdä mitä pervoa linkistä löytyy! Angry

Edit: Kylläpä taas aukes kauan sitten arpeutuneita haavoja.
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« Last Edit: 25. Apr 2008 at 16:39 by Ard-Begbie »  
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aloittelija...

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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #10 - 27. Apr 2008 at 13:39
 
Eräässä todella huonossa elokuvassa. Kaveri kysäisi toiselta "Otatko oluen?"johon toinen vastasi "Otan mieluummin viskin vedellä iman viskiä."
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #11 - 27. Apr 2008 at 14:21
 
POP wrote on 25. Apr 2008 at 08:42:
Perjantai aamun kevennykseksi ja NHL:n playoffeihinkin ajallisesti sopiva videopätkä, jonka sain Eat P:ltä eilen. Mielestäni todellinen helmi!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWeCKqM_P1M


Loistava, todellinen helmi.  ;D Grin
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My Laphroaig...
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Artturi
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #12 - 11. Jul 2008 at 08:28
 
Tuttuja tuliaisia....
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Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whisky is barely enough...
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #13 - 06. Aug 2008 at 12:16
 
Guy sitting at the bar in Tobermory having a dram. An second bloke comes in and sits beside him and asks him what he's drinking. "Talisker 10." is the reply. "Well now. That's my favourite dram as well. Tell me are ye fram these perts?"
"Aye - Ah've lived her aal ma life"
"So have I! Whur dae ye bide (stay)?"
" Up in Glebe Street."
"Well well! So dae I - number 12"
"Well there's a thing. That's where I kip as well!!"

At this point another customer walks in and asks the barman how things are.
"Ach," he replies. "No bad..... but the McLean twins are pissed again!"
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Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whisky is barely enough...
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Artturi
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Re: Lasillinen witsiä
Reply #14 - 06. Aug 2008 at 12:26
 
A man enters a well stocked whisky bar, sits at the bar and orders doubles of four very old and expensive single malts.
The bartender serves them on a silver tray, setting all four in front of the patron.
The man then consumes all four drinks in a matter of seconds.
The bartender comments, "Wow, you sure must have a problem." "If you had what I had," the man replies, "you'd drink them fast, too." Leaning over, the sympathetic bartender asks,
"What do you have?"
"One Pound Fifty ," the man answers.
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Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whisky is barely enough...
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